My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic

But why would I want to watch a show for GIIIIIIIIRLS?

Big Announcement

I have an important announcement to make, and it’s clear that today is the day to make it, because of the significance of what today is (I mean, of course, that it’s Palm Sunday). I want to use this opportunity to announce that I have dedicated my life to Jesus and am becoming an evangelist. After witnessing how the power of God imbues his messengers with perfect and irrefutable logic, I have seen that Evangelic Christianity is the only belief system that makes any sense. I had hidden behind the lies of “science” before, but science is nothing more than a huge Satanic conspiracy committed to nothing but combating the One True Church – all claims that it is unbiased and loyal only to logic and empirical observation are a devious deception. Anyone who is taught science learns that first of all, but we’re all just too cowardly and immoral to admit it. The only real truth lies in following everything the Bible says without question, regardless of what the so-called “experts” say about how the world really works. Science blasphemously worships humanity, by claiming that the humanity evolved over thousands of years just like every other species. But now that I’m an evangelist, I know to only praise God, who made man in his exact likeness and gave us complete mastery over every other life form in existence. Can’t you see how it’s narcissistic and hypocritical to suggest otherwise? That’s why from now on I’ll commit myself to doing God’s work: criticizing people that I’ve never met before and know nothing about. After all, the best way to change someone’s way of thinking is to tell them they’ll be damned for eternity if they disagree with anything you say. If that doesn’t work, the person you’re talking to is obviously in Satan’s clutches already, in which case it isn’t worth worrying about whether they change their ways or not. That’s what’s wrong with organized churches today; they go to so much trouble to make their teachings seem relevant to people in today’s society that they forget about the important part: judging other people for the sins you assume they’ve committed. That’s why I’m not associating with any of the established churches, especially the Catholics. Just because they were founded by Jesus’s actual followers, they think they know better how to interpret the Bible than me and my gut feeling that I know what it really means. Whatever; they’re not really Christians anyway. They think God expects us to be good people instead of just relying completely on Jesus doing all the work for us. What self-centered assholes. But I digress. My point is, the truth of all this is so self-evident that I shouldn’t have to explain to anyone what sort of reasoning led me to these conclusions. So I won’t explain it, I’ll just keep saying the same things over and over again until everyone realizes that I’m right. That’s the only right way to spread the word of God. Yes sir, this is definitely the best decision I’ve ever made.

Futurama - All the Presidents' Heads

Can they put this series back together again?

Futurama - Yo Leela Leela

Yo suck.

Futurama - "Silence of the Clamps"

Actual silence would be more enjoyable.

The Tree of Life

Why yes, that baby's foot IS far more interesting than this movie.

Futurama: Law and Oracle

Finally, an episode starring Url. That's what we all wanted, right?