My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic

But why would I want to watch a show for GIIIIIIIIRLS?

Big Announcement

I have an important announcement to make, and it’s clear that today is the day to make it, because of the significance of what today is (I mean, of course, that it’s Palm Sunday). I want to use this opportunity to announce that I have dedicated my life to Jesus and am becoming an evangelist. After witnessing how the power of God imbues his messengers with perfect and irrefutable logic, I have seen that Evangelic Christianity is the only belief system that makes any sense. I had hidden behind the lies of “science” before, but science is nothing more than a huge Satanic conspiracy committed to nothing but combating the One True Church – all claims that it is unbiased and loyal only to logic and empirical observation are a devious deception. Anyone who is taught science learns that first of all, but we’re all just too cowardly and immoral to admit it. The only real truth lies in following everything the Bible says without question, regardless of what the so-called “experts” say about how the world really works. Science blasphemously worships humanity, by claiming that the humanity evolved over thousands of years just like every other species. But now that I’m an evangelist, I know to only praise God, who made man in his exact likeness and gave us complete mastery over every other life form in existence. Can’t you see how it’s narcissistic and hypocritical to suggest otherwise? That’s why from now on I’ll commit myself to doing God’s work: criticizing people that I’ve never met before and know nothing about. After all, the best way to change someone’s way of thinking is to tell them they’ll be damned for eternity if they disagree with anything you say. If that doesn’t work, the person you’re talking to is obviously in Satan’s clutches already, in which case it isn’t worth worrying about whether they change their ways or not. That’s what’s wrong with organized churches today; they go to so much trouble to make their teachings seem relevant to people in today’s society that they forget about the important part: judging other people for the sins you assume they’ve committed. That’s why I’m not associating with any of the established churches, especially the Catholics. Just because they were founded by Jesus’s actual followers, they think they know better how to interpret the Bible than me and my gut feeling that I know what it really means. Whatever; they’re not really Christians anyway. They think God expects us to be good people instead of just relying completely on Jesus doing all the work for us. What self-centered assholes. But I digress. My point is, the truth of all this is so self-evident that I shouldn’t have to explain to anyone what sort of reasoning led me to these conclusions. So I won’t explain it, I’ll just keep saying the same things over and over again until everyone realizes that I’m right. That’s the only right way to spread the word of God. Yes sir, this is definitely the best decision I’ve ever made.

Futurama - All the Presidents' Heads

Can they put this series back together again?

Futurama - Yo Leela Leela

Yo suck.

Futurama - "Silence of the Clamps"

Actual silence would be more enjoyable.

The Tree of Life

Why yes, that baby's foot IS far more interesting than this movie.

Futurama: Law and Oracle

Finally, an episode starring Url. That's what we all wanted, right?

Futurama: "Ghost in the Machines"

  

Er... wait... that might be the wrong picture.

Futurama: Neutopia and Benderama

It's a show about the future... so why does it seem so outdated?

X-Men: First Class

In which Magneto out-Irishes Banshee, Professor X has a full head of hair, and everybody cuts footloose.

The X-Files: I Want to Believe

I want to believe that this movie was just a joke.

Movie Brawl: Inception vs. Paprika

Which of these films is the stuff that dreams are made of?

Anime Retrospect: FLCL

Where the hell were the robots and magic guitars when I was going through adolescence?

When the Academy Went Wrong: 10 Classics That Lost to Inferior Films

Just calling it "Best Picture" doesn't necessarily make it so... 

Black Swan

Natalie Portman makes out with Mila Kunis and turns into a bird. Also, I think there's some ballet in it.

Adaptation Brawl: Scott Pilgrim (Graphic Novels)

It's Scott Pilgrim vs. Scott Pilgrim vs. the World!

Katanagatari

Last year I was looking around for some decent anime to watch, and I stumbled across a new series called Katanagatari. It's description was simple enough: a martial artist joins a tactical expert in her quest to recover 12 exceptional swords with unique qualities. A simple, straightforward action series, I thought. Those can be fun every now and again, and the artwork seemed decent, so I checked it out. And it was pretty much what I expected. At first.

The series has recently ended, and what a strange journey it became. Not only was there action and a little light comedy, but there was real depth to it too. It was challenging, at times heartbreaking, and on several occasions I was stunned by complete reversals of what I thought I was in for.

I'll write up a review of this series eventually. For the time being: find Katanagatari and watch it. It has been one of the most wonderfully surprising series in anime of the last couple of years, as far as my opinion goes. I'll be back later to finish my Scott Pilgrim review. Until then, everybody.

Adaptation Brawl: Scott Pilgrim vs. the World (movie)

It's an epic of epic epicness. And did we mention that it's epic?

The Return of the Karl

Last month, I took the month off from blogging in order to participate in National Novel Writing month. And, after nearly 30 days of intense effort in between working and seeking a more permanent job, I earned this incredible prize:

The novel I wrote was pure crap, but it was the word count that mattered and I had that. At the least, I did get to work in references to Existentialist philosophers and pogs. And I at one point described a hypothetical t-shirt bearing the words "You must defeat Sheng Long to stand a chance", and I mention this because I know this shirt must really exist, and I fucking want it. Anyone who knows where to find it, leave me a comment.

Anyhow, I'll have a new review up shortly, hopefully. I'm going to take a close look at perhaps my favorite film of the past year: Scott Pilgrim vs. the World. Be prepared for epic, folks.

Anime Retrospect: Tenchi Muyo! Part 3

Tenchi faces his toughest challenge yet: fighting for screen time against a bunch of cute girls.